An Apology

I gave him the silent treatment
for three days
until he stopped me
and hugged me.
His hug so tight, I stood numb.
Apologizing, my eyes lower
as he tells me it will probably happen again.
My body shaking,
I did not say it was okay,
I did not lie through my chattering teeth.
He calls me useless in front of his son,
my father.
My best friend and I run out of the house,
my words stumble over each other,
composure stretched thin.
I find myself alone
in a room, dead silence—I crumble.
My hands never leaving my face,
trying to keep tears from falling,
holding reality in.
I see myself in the mirror,
my eyes red and swollen.
Silence
had never been louder.
Its eighty degrees hot outside,
yet I pull a big blanket over myself
as my warm tears bring chills over my body,
my head feeling every tick and tock
from the grandfather clock in the house.
Pieces in me broke the moment I heard the roar
of my father’s voice
telling his own father that he never
has to come to another one of his grandchildren’s birthdays
ever again;
my eyes nearly scratched out
when I saw my mom crying.
My grandfather tells me he’s sorry, though
he’ll probably do it again. I wonder when
he will be sorry enough to stop drinking.

Writer: Quincy Roach is currently attending Fullerton College in pursuits of becoming a teacher.

Artist: Cassandra Jimenez is a third year student at Fullerton college. She plans on completing her Associate’s Degree in Art and plans on transferring to a four-year university to receive a Bachelor’s Degree. Cassandra has loved art since she was small. But, her interest in art increased when she took intermediate and advanced art in high school. She prefers water color painting but also enjoys drawing and even creating murals. Her love for art is displayed in her work.